Taking the time to cope with divorce is essential

On behalf of Jeffrey N. Greenblatt of Joseph, Greenwald & Laake, PA posted in Divorce on Thursday, August 8, 2013.

People in Maryland may have seen a recent editorial about how people deal with major life changes such as losing a job or getting a divorce. Obviously the end of a marriage can be a very traumatic experience, but still many people may not give themselves enough time or enough slack to be an emotional mess.

A divorce can impact every facet of a person's life, including family life, social life, living situation, financial situation and much more. If it's a major part of life, odds are the divorce will have at least some impact on it. Experts call this the identity crisis process, because most people will have to re-evaluate their lives in a very deep and exploratory way in order to overcome and emerge from the period of emotional hurt and confusion caused by divorce.

All in all, most experts suggest that this period can take, on average, two years. While this may seem like a long time to cope with the end of a marriage, there may be no other option for people who want to emerge from their divorce even stronger and emotionally centered. Rushing back into a new relationship or moving to a new town ultimately doesn't provide the kind of healing that the wounds of divorce require.

Many people feel relief that the period of emotional turmoil and identity confusion is natural and that it will come to an end. For people dealing with a divorce, the best thing they can do is take the healing process seriously and focus learning from the past, accepting it and moving on towards the future.

The one thing people may want to avoid is trying to tackle the divorce alone. It's a truly daunting and complex task that people under stress and lacking professional training should probably not consider handling themselves. With the guidance and support of professionals who understand how the divorce process works legally, emotionally and financially, people can spend more time on healing themselves.

Source: Wall Street Journal "After Divorce or Job Loss Comes the Good Identity Crisis," Elizabeth Bernstein, July 30, 2013